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Tue, Jul. 19th, 2005, 05:16 pm

How am I? I'm okay, quite good. At the same time, there's an underlying stress. I hate looking for jobs, doing resumes... I have that to do, as well as studying, and the neverending explaining to STU people why I am taking the Bar in February instead of July. I know I've made the right decision, but ... there's irrational guilt involved. And when things are up in the air... I'm so down on myself.

But all the bad stuff - it's not the TRUTH. No matter what may happen, I have to hold on to the only truth there is. I have a God who knows me and loves me and has guided me every day of my life her on earth. How blessed I am! Am I not in better shape than so many people out there? And not because I'm so great or special, but because He lead me away from hidden dangers and paths of suffering. This world is not my home, and while I am here I have to take what blessings and gifts God has given me and work as hard as I can to help other people in their lives, so that they can grow closer to Him.

It's really amazing, too, that God has given me the ability to LOVE so many of his children. Oh, not as much as He does - though I pray that he let me love people with his love instead of my own. But enough - enough that I want to be with all of them in heaven!

Hmmm... my journal entry took on a life of its own... in any case, I'll move on.

Saturday was Kristy's birthday, and several of us conspired to surprise her. I kidnapped her in the afternoon to go shopping, and Monica and I helped her pick out a great outfit for an evening event. She had no idea what the event was, or who would be there. Later, Michael delivered her to Monty's blindfolded where a group of us celebrated. We had a good time over dinner, and danced as well. A very nice evening!

Yesterday, I went to Monica and Rigo's to help them deliver school supplies that Monica collected for an orphanage. Monica did a great job of getting donations. I was not really a necessary component to the operation, and the thought crossed my mind that perhaps I should have got to a bible study that Luke invited me too instead, but it was worthwhile to me to spend time with Monica and Rigo. Also, I was glad to see where the orphanage was and learn about volunteering opportunities. I missed doing ministry and service during law school, but it's going to be an integral part of my life now.

Well, I'd better go outside and at least do some walking before it gets too late.